The Over-Taming of America ~ Rhonda Burns

Coming Undone With The Tenacious Minx Radio Show

The Over-Taming of America

The question burning in my brain lately: “When the hell did we become such a tame and lame society, unable to do whatever it takes to defend our own bodies and our own personal space?”

It seems as though every time I turn around these days, I’m looking at an article or a story shared about someone being offended, accosted, interfered with, part of an attempted kidnapping, or coerced against their will. I’m not referring to all the #metoo stories coming out right now (thank you everyone who is finding your voice and your power to heal from your experiences), but this subject definitely speaks to why so much of that took place and why now, it can finally change.

Here’s the rub for me: from what I can tell from the stories I’ve read, none of these people made known to others that their personal space and their bodies could not be fu**ked with! Instead, they:

» Got offended and asked someone else to address the situation.

» They shut down and didn’t do anything but go along.

» They felt powerless to speak their minds or defend their bodies.

» They allowed someone else to intimidate them because…

This is an epidemic.

The underlying energy for these people in these reports was that they were “nice” in their approach to danger or offense, rather than being aggressively present and emanating the energy of, “You will do NO harm here – or else.”

In the more “professional or civil situations, what happened to looking the offending person in the eye and saying, “That’s enough of that? I don’t like it; it doesn’t work for me; you are out of line. If you continue, I will take measures to ensure you learn to listen and not to ignore me or my right to not be slimed all over by you.” Even that approach is quite “tame” and yes, more than civil, but can be delivered with venom and an invisible energetic wallop of “Try me, asshole.”

As I raise my 12 year old son, I can’t help but reminisce on my upbringing and realize that, it’s no wonder we’re in the position we’re in.

For the mass majority of us, we were never raised being taught that our bodies were our own and that we had the right to defend them to the death – even with “Grampa Joe” or “Aunt Jane”. As parents, we often expect our children to “sit up straight”, “hug so and so”, “be nice”, “be polite”, and “use your manners”, show affection even when the kids don’t desire to, etc.

But how many of you had parents that taught you, 

“NO ONE gets to touch you without your consent? Including your family and friends? Including us?” Or how many of you had parents that taught you that if you felt uncomfortable in a situation, even if you couldn’t name what it was, that you had the right and were encouraged to leave that situation immediately – no questions asked? And how about, “You have a right to use your voice to express yourself – no matter what, no matter where, no matter with whom?” For most of us, that would be a big “no”.

Damn, what could have been different if we’d been taught those messages when growing up?

Some parents might even feel that introducing this level of autonomy and personal boundaries might be a slippery slope, but it isn’t. It’s actually empowering our children fully and wholly; reminding them that they have the internal guidance, intuition, connection to source/spirit/consciousness and the awareness to lead a life of joy, kindness, compassion, power and to be safe within their own skin and bones.

Our bodies are our sacred partners in this journey called human life, and there is no greater bond than that of a soul living with and experiencing this partnership.

The issue is that we have not been taught to listen to our knowing/awareness, our bodies conscious wisdom, or to trust them – above all else.

Our parents probably hadn’t been taught either. Rather than continue the cycle, what if it’s time to end the apathy and the cluelessness and reclaim that which is ours, and always has been? “No one can harm me unless I allow it – Ever – Period.”

What if that’s the mantra our kids and younger generations could live by and trust for themselves? What if we as adults would reclaim this now? It would be in conjunction with all the lessons and ideals we share with our kids and those we love and care about:

♥ Be kindness, lead with kindness, and take no shit;

♥ Love yourself first; then we can love one another from a full cup;

♥ Respect yourself and then you can be respectful of and with others;

♥ Trust your awareness, even when you can’t explain it – it requires no explanation;

♥ Let your body lead and show you the way through everything;

♥ Express yourself fully as close to the event as possible – don’t bottle anything up;

♥ Be willing to go to the mat, to the death, to the end of the line to defend yourself if you feel that’s what’s necessary to feel safe in your body.

This is a radical departure for most of us.

But I encourage and invite you to consider what your life might be like, and the life of your young ones, if we taught them what we are finally learning well into adulthood? Why not set them and all of us up, for personal autonomy, embodied empowerment and source-created power to live a life on our terms?

If each of us were to take responsibility for ourselves, reclaiming the true nature of who we are and what we are capable of, maintain our bodies with honor and regard and allow ourselves to express what’s required in any given moment, the world would be a very different place. And that’s the world I’m rooting for. Tame is only one choice.

♥♥ Rhonda Burns is a Pleasure Advocate and Conscious Embodiment Coach.  She teaches people how to talk about, address & evolve through taboo subject matter, so they can be free to live a turned-on, radically rich life. Knowing that bodies, sex & pleasure are three of our greatest creative allies, she tirelessly and lovingly invites people to tap into theirs and utilize them for outrageously abundant and prosperous living. Please visit Rhonda at her website, or email her: