Lifestyle Hacks For Better Libido ~ Milica Jelenic

Sleepy Time:

Be sure to be having restful sleep so that your body can feel energized and excited without getting exhausted. Maybe it’s just me, but having a lover yawning on you during play is really not a turn-on for me. If you are finding that you are having a hard time getting that rest there are few things you can do to have your body have a restful, deep sleep.

Turn off all the tech in your house, including the WiFi that is connected to it.  You might not realize it, but your body is being stimulated by this frequency even when you are not streaming or using wifi.

Sleep with a mask over your eyes to keep out the light and allow your brain to fully relax. You can also have all lights off in your room as well as black-out curtains to allow your body to be in the darkest room while you sleep.

Sleep with as little sound as possible in the background. 

Do not drink caffeine 8 hours prior to going to bed, ie. if you sleep at 11pm, stop drinking caffeinated drinks by 3pm.

Do not exercise vigorously before bed. Doing some calming things like yoga can assist in relaxation where cardio-vascular can wake you up.

Avoid sugar or any stimulating foods for hours prior to bed. 

Speaking of Sugar…

Did you know that sugar can contribute to erectile dysfunction? Sad, but true. Sugar is linked to hormonal imbalances that can prevent arousal in men and women. Sugar raises insulin and lowers testosterone. Testosterone aids arousal in all bodies! A little sugar can assist your body, like in the form of electrolytes, however, too much of it is like poison.

Wine & Cheese anyone? NOT!

As much as Dionysis and Bacchus would have been sad to hear this, alcohol is not actually the best way to get relaxed for sex. I have had clients who have shown up after drinking thinking that the booze will help them relax, it doesn’t. It creates false energy that is not contributive to creating in the session. In moderation, it might curb some anxiety, but you are better off learning some tools for that and spare your liver and genitals. Studies have shown that alcohol does in fact have adverse effects on genital response. If you think you are feeling sexy and your body is not responding it might be a side effect of drugs or alcohol.

If you are thinking OMG, I cannot relax without alcohol, the question is have you chosen it? Have you “tried once” but gave up?

Relax Already!

Bodies don’t function optimally when they are in a cycle of fight, flight or freeze. What occurs when you are in fight, flight or freeze is your adrenal medulla releases cortisol and epinephrine. And when these hormones are present in high levels your body will be looking to survive, not thrive or get off. Stress can often create a problem with connecting as well. Please check out my list of “Happiness Hormones” to find out what you can do easily and naturally to calm down and feel happy!

Water, the ultimate life hack…

I am often asked “how much water should I be drinking”. There are several ways to calculate it, or you can keep it simple and just drink until your urine is the colour of straw. Dehydration is a huge problem right now as we tend to be over-stimulating with things like caffeine that diuretics and begin to take away the water that we do have in our body. Lack of water can cause headaches, irritability, emotional upset, stress, body pains in general and over the long term it can cause severe health issues. If you think your mouth is dry, then consider this, your vagina also has mucosal membranes like your mouth, so your vagina will be as dry as your mouth. Don’t have a vagina? For those of you with penises, just know that your body requires water for better blood flow, so having the correct amount of water can assist your body in having better stronger erections!


Intimacy is a big thing that many of us ignore, we just brush it off somehow thinking that if we ignore the problem it will go away. With intimacy, as with many other things, this is just not true. Take a moment to connect with your lover before you do anything else. Here are some easy ways to connect:

Hug it out for more than 20 seconds

Look at each other for a few minutes directly, eye to eye contact instead of hand to hand combat

Speak to each other about your day. Did you know that many people require speaking and connecting to their partner, even if it is about the mundane, in order to relax

Have a date: even a simple drive can be a date, and so can a trip to the moon and everything in between. Make a point of spending quality time together

Moments of gratitude: find one thing to say to your lover that you are grateful for them. Gratitude helps people be present and relax

Doing something without being asked, a little act of service goes a long way.

Random gifts with thought. It might not happen every day but once in a while, a little gift goes a long way. Sometimes I bring my lover his favourite candy, it’s that simple.

Contact Milica Jelenic

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