The Pleasure Zone with Milica Jelenic Radio Show
Fingers & Pleasure
Finger Hygiene is very important. I know this seems to be silly but truly finger hygiene is super important. Finger nails can collect bacteria, fungus and spread viruses so please wash your hands thoroughly before putting them on a vulva, in a vagina, anus or any other area with mucosa. If you have any suspicion that finger might have a wart or a herpes on a it, do not put that finger on any other body parts, herpes and warts can be highly contagious and can be very painful if they are on the genitals. So please be aware of that.
Rough fingers can hurt sensitive areas of the body. Guys and gals who do a lot of work with your hands and don’t wear gloves, please take care of your fingers and hands, get them soft by using lotion or going to a salon and getting a treatment done to clean your nails and the rough skin off. Your lover will thank you for it.
Know your body first and foremost:
Remember me, I’m your genitals. It’s really key to get your fingers familiar with your genitals. Your fingers will give you sensations and information (whether you realize it or not) about what your really enjoy. If you have never masturbated before:
Get ready, set and go:
Firstly I would encourage you to set aside anything you were every told or anything that every occurred that would have you stop yourself from enjoying your own body. If God or the Goddess are an issue for not enjoying your own body I wonder this: would God and the Goddess create bodies in a way that has 8000 nerve endings all land in one little spot if it wasn’t meant to be ecstatically enjoyed?
Get yourself into the headspace of being willing to touch your own genitals. Now even if you have done this before I encourage you to masturbate this time with the eyes of a newbie. What if you could touch yourself like it was the very first time? Get your space prepared, get lighting that you enjoy, get your room ready for comfort, gather your implements like lube, and whatever else you might require like water, music etc. Get your body to a place of relaxation and begin to remove your own clothes, allowing your finger tips to touch your own body with the caress and stimulation of a lovers touch. Breath in your own sensuality, your own sexualness your own beauty. As you remove your own clothes have this be foreplay for yourself, look at your body in the mirror if you have one. Flirt a little with yourself while stroking your own arms, your nipples, your belly, your bum, your neck, touching different parts of yourself to wake your body to its sensualness. Once your body has an intensity of aliveness and turn-on, begin to get comfortable. Lying down in a comfortable position, or standing if you prefer. Be comfortable, be relaxed in your body. Begin to touch your own genitals, guys touch your testicles, gently, softly and touch your penis, if it isn’t erect play with a little in your fingers to stimulate an erection. Ladies explore your labia, your vaginal opening, moving your finger from close to your perineum all the way to your clitoris. Beautiful, when you have found your sweet spot, just stay for a moment and receive the energy of your genitals, the magnificence of them, the potency of them, the beauty of them. Receive the parts of you that you have neglected and rejected, and just hold and pause while you stay in contact with your genitals. Breath in deep and allow your fingers to explore the territory. You might find that a little tickle is the most sensual treasure right now, you may prefer some deeper stroking, check in with your body and see what it would like. Your genitals sometimes have a mind of their own, so ask them, rather than assuming that it is the same old, same old with touching your genitals, know that today is different, your approach is different, you are ramping up your receiving of you, and orgasmic energy. Follow what your body would really like and allow yourself to cum or not, what if you can really be there to enjoy whatever your body would like to enjoy, without having to finish off? I dare you to give your body what it likes and get rid of the notion of being blue balled.
Fingering the vagina
The vagina is a bit of a biological miracle. The miracles it creates and the energy that it is. To finger a vagina is not so crude when you understand the beauty of it. Remembering to have clean fingers before entering this zone, finger nails cut low and nice smooth fingers. The vagina should be wet before entering. You can stimulate wetness by stimulating the clitoris first. When a vagina is wet ask permission, both energetically and truly, “may I enter you?” This may sound strange, but the first time I was asked permission I thought it was the kindest most loving gesture I could receive. It wasn’t an assumed thing that because the vagina is wet it is enterable. It was truly a groundbreaking moment for me when I was asked “may I enter you?” The vagina is very wise and it knows who it would like to be fingered by, so follow it’s wisdom and you can ask it yourself “vagina, would you like to be entered by XYZ?” To begin, I like to follow the sage advice of Saida Desilets who talks about empowering women through becoming aware of the Yoni and using Yoni eggs as a means to become more aware. Her method of sipping is so lovely and really is where the vagina is the holder to all power and choice. It is where when sipping an egg, a finger, a toy or a penis etc. that the vagina will open and pull the object of its desire inside. Listen to it, it knows. Patience is key as sometimes the vagina is asking for someone to be patient and will take a few minutes to blossom open to sip in.
Once permission is granted don’t go seeing how far you can get in. This is not a test or a race to who can go deeper, deeper can lead to cervical issues. Be aware of and kind to the cervix. Enter with your fingers and be aware of the spots that create the most pleasure. Although not all women experience a G spot orgasm you can begin to stimulate the area that it is generally found. That is about 1-2 inches in on the front wall. You can you more than one finger and create a “come hither” effect. Using your two fingers have them do the gesture that is like “come here”. Whether that vagina is ready to have a g spot or not, it will be a lovely experience.
Sometimes fingering vaginas can lead to fisting, so before going there the vagina must be prepped for that kind of spreading. We will be discussing spreading things open in our next show called “Bring Out The Stretcher”
Check in with your partner and see what she would like. In the very start pounding a vagina is not recommended, it’s just overwhelming and confusing. So start slow, build up, and be in communication with your lover. A good lover will be in communication with you and your needs. It may be verbal or with gestures, so pay attention.
Rubbing the clitoris (where is the clitoris you ask?)
Go south into the vaginal opening (hopefully you know that one), get your finger prepared for an adventure and allow it to travel north. Every woman’s clitoris is in a slightly different area in comparison to the vaginal opening, so don’t assume Jane and Melva have theirs in the same spot) Once your finger has travelled north allow it to find a bump, some bumps are more evident than others, some are very hidden by folds of the clitoral hood. Some clitoris’s can be very exposed and enlarged resembling small penises. So everyone is different. Once you have found the clitoris and are perched on it’s peek you are ready for some play and exploration. It is handy to have some lubrication around in case your partner enjoys less friction. Some bodies enjoy friction, so be sure to check in and ask. This can be a fun exploration time, you can use your pointer finger or middle finger, or indeed any finger that you have, in case you are missing one or two. When rubbing a clitoris be sure to see if your partner prefers their fully exposed then stroked or stroked from a different position. Sometimes when the clitoris has had a lot of direct contact it can become a bit shy and prefer to have contact from other angles. For women who have had a clitoridectomy (the ritual removal of a clitoris) they will still have the nerve root of their clitoris. With this in mind, there has been trauma to the area so be very aware and very present with the request of your partner. Tread lightly and ask lots of questions.
The exploration itself can be different for everyone. If you are enjoying a particular stroke of your own genius, then show your partner/lover what that looks like. Of course your own touch and intuitive knowing of when to go harder, faster, lighter, slighter, is all very different than a partner who has probably walked into this with the point of view that they are facing the task of delivering an orgasm. Delivering an orgasm does not need to be ask scary as facing your inner demons, so breath relax and have fun!
Rubbing the penis
I personally didn’t come equipped with a physical penis in this lifetime, but I sure do have an amazing energetic one. When it comes to fingers on a penis I like to follow my energetic penises advice. I know, what does that mean? Truly if you allow yourself to sense and receive information from your partner you will be able to get a pretty good read, even an accurate one, on what your partner would like.
Every penis is different. Some penises like rhythmic up and down stroking, some like a full hand of rubbing, some like different methods of exposing the area near the tip of the penis to a more hearty stroke.
If you are stroking someone else’s penis for the first time, please be aware of what they like. I like to ask for a peep show to see how they masturbate as there is a tendency to have a desire to have that sensation again. If your partner is open to new and exciting things and doesn’t require the same stimulation for everything to work then you are in for some fun.
Penises can tear and get soar if they are rubbed to vigorously without lubricant. Remember to use lubricant, whether water based, silicone based or food grade like coconut oil, it doesn’t matter. Remember to clean the penis thoroughly afterwards tho as it can create irritation sometimes.
The anus was built to dump out waste. The muscles are literally designed to push out. So, when fingering a penis please use lube, please have patience and wait 30 secs to 2 minutes before going for the gold and if it is a first time entry then please be very gentle and use only one finger for now. Allow the body to build up to more fingers before going as far as fisting.
If a woman has had a clitoral orgasm you can actually aggravate the clitoris by going back in right away to stimulate it. Give it some time and stimulate other areas. Your fingers are useful for soft touch. Stroking the inner thighs, the arms, the arm pits, the breasts, the nape of the neck, enjoy that body while it is in the throws of rapture. The lingering effects of an orgasm can lend a body to have way more sensitivity than prior so now is a great time to bring in all the fun with fingers you can imagine.
I personally like to use fingers for a little tweak on the nipples…for my own body that is like a delicious treat.