Why does it seem so easy to choose without worry at a buffet but not in our lives?
I’ll bet you don’t poll the people you’re with at a buffet to see what they’re having or if what you’re having is okay. At a buffet, you simply walk up to the offerings and load up your plate! At a buffet, if something you’ve chosen doesn’t please your palate, you set it aside and go back up to choose again. Yet when it comes to choosing for our life and living, it’s just not that easy. Could it be that easy?!
Of course one evening at a buffet is surely less significant that choosing your career or mate. Can you imagine choosing a job, working for a few weeks (or months, or years) and walking away when you’ve learned all it can offer or things change and it’s just no longer for you. What would people think? What would you think of yourself? I gave up. I can’t stick to anything. And the fateful “I was wrong!” GASP!
In life we often choose for others long before we’d ever choose something for ourselves. We usually take the parents, the spouse, the kids, the dog, or even the hamster into consideration before we get to ask “what do I require or desire.” This often leads us to feeling diminished and resentful of the people we love. Usually we keep choosing for others until the resentment builds up into a big dark cloud hovering over our life. That big dark cloud then either explodes – usually at the worst possible time – or it implodes – causing pain and disease.
Sometimes, we get overwhelmed by all the choices we have. Should I buy the red dress or the blue skirt, or the pants and blouse over there, or that other dress? I really like Tom, but Bill is a nice guy too, and Chris makes me laugh but Steve makes me feel like I can do anything! What if I choose wrong? (You can’t.) What if that’s my one shot at love? (It isn’t.) So, we choose nothing. We choose the existence we have for fear of making a mistake. We stay with that job (or spouse, or shampoo) until we feel limp hopeless. And then, we’ll always wonder … what if?
I wonder if it is possible to ease up on our life choices as if we were at a buffet. By the way … we ARE at a buffet! Our life, this planet, IS our buffet! It’s time to begin choosing as if this life was a buffet: to choose and learn, and to choose again and live! I know it seems crazy; it’s true anyway.
“You came here to live a life that speaks to your heart.” Christine McIver
What would it take to lighten up on our life choices? Here are a few simple ideas to get started:
Examine what is working for you.
Do you consistently make time for yoga, or to read in the evening, or to get your nails done? Is that always an easy choice? Look at the difficult choices you make for you and know that you can make more. You might even notice that those people you usually put ahead of you benefit from these consistent choices too! I’ll bet you’re a happier person to be around. Now imagine more of that!
Who are you choosing this for?
When you find yourself in the face of a choice, ask yourself who you are choosing for. Are you choosing for someone else? Will it please them but inconvenience you? Will they move ahead while you stay in the shadows? Will you resent this choice or the other person later? Is that your best choice?
Choices where one person will win and another will lose always show me that there are other choices to be discovered.
Will this choice create greater for me, for my loved ones, for the world?
Sure it sounds extreme to think that our little choice could create greater for the world … what if it did? Will your choice keep everyone bound or will it create ease? When you ask this, you might be surprised just how easy choosing for you becomes.
What if you fail?
Please know that you never have to be at the effect of your choices. In the event that you do “fail” – failure meaning that what you thought would happen didn’t – you will still gain information and awareness for the next choice. And there is ALWAYS a next choice!
Beginning to choose for you is one of the greatest ways to honor yourself. Choosing for you even when it seems crazy might be uncomfortable; people who have become used to always being first might be upset for a short time, the payoff for everyone is beyond measure. You might even find that it’s astonishing how often those “crazy” choices become the greatest contribution to others … but first to you.
Listen to the show that inspired this article here.
Find all Inspired Choices shows here.
Written by Carol Glover.