The Pleasure Zone with Milica Jelenic Radio Show
Hypersexuality, Nymphomania and Sex Addiction are classified as a paraphilia (arousal by things, objects and situations that are atypical)
A lot of stuff came up in my universe with the research for this show. I often thought that maybe I was super curious as a child or that I have been making up for lost time after choosing to be celibate for several years, as if the floodgates had opened and all of a sudden there I am with all this energy ready to be explored. So then my next question lies in: Who does any of this belong to? In Access we talk about how we have the capacity, all of us do, to be aware of other people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions. That sex is a lower harmonic of receiving. Today I discovered that my desire to touch bodies can be considered a fetish. Although only diagnosable if I grab your bum and run without your consent. Where other sex addictions don’t require consent it seems the ones that I would be borderline on, do. So what if, what I am aware of is actually the energy that is being repressed by everyone and everything. What if my willingness to express the energy that is present isn’t a wrongness? Have you ever been called “inappropriate” for something you did? Well, what if you aren’t at all? I also was recently told by a now friend of mine that when she first met me the offer of holding her bum pissed her off and she had a godzillion points of view about me, and my “weird”ness. It was a really interesting conversation, she also pointed out how many people have been feeling awkward about it, even though I ask on every occasion. So part of that I wondered is how awkward is it to hear someone ask for something that they really enjoy, and have you been refusing asking for what you enjoy so that you don’t get judged for it? Does your body really enjoy sex 10 times a day, or to masturbate more than once a day? What is your body aware of, and what if it isn’t a wrongness? What are you are facilitating with your body and your sexualness? What if, it isn’t about comparing yourself to the “norm”? Would you be willing to be the weirdo you truly be, and to have awareness of who it is light to talk to about your interesting sexual choices? What kindness can you to you, without putting yourself into the line of fire to be judged on what you are choosing? Would it be fun to play with playmates who choose awareness and no judgement rather than the ones who give you the look like you are insane? And what if those looks, those judgements, if you choose to receive them, could make you money, oh right, you have enough of that, what if it could bring more fun into our life, oh, right, you have enough of that too. What do you desire and require? What if you, choosing to have your barriers down to judgement would allow you to receive way more in your life, including sex and money?
So, as I went through some of the things that qualify sexual addiction I started to judge me and label me as an addict. You might, or might not identify with some of these:
Krafft Ebing early 1800’s: With opportunity for the natural satisfaction of the sexual instinct, every expression of it that does not correspond with the purpose of nature,—i.e., propagation,—must be regarded as perverse.”[3]
Modern description: “exhibiting unusual or excessive concern with or indulgence in sexual activity.”[1]
Although they vary there is an underlying current of whatever is socially the mid-point and that is what is considered normal. For people who choose less sex like celibacy, there really is no issue there. So if a person chooses more money and bigger houses and lots of cars, does that make them psychologically impaired? It is funny to me that in some areas of life we cannot have more, like sex, without having a psychological disorder, where in other areas it is highly revered and sought after.
For prostitutes who are in the career of having sex it is more likely that we either point the finger or blame them for their circumstance, they likely don’t have an addiction, so we can feel sorry for them. The more I have been playing with this topic I have been getting how it is so much about creating everyone as the same. What if you, being you is the different and the difference the world is asking for?
With the 50 Shades of Gray movie that came out last February there has been a sort of normalization of S&M. In fact it is so normal we just use some letters for it. What else has been considered abnormal historically, that people would have been put into the nut house for, just for curiosity and experimentation? Well loads, homosexuality being one of them, and still today around the world it can be dangerous to be homosexual in places like Saudi Arabia. What if none of our choices and sexual interests are so weird? What if anything between consenting adults is not a wrongness?
With some addictions people describe the desire to fill a void or a hole, what if that void or whole isn’t a wrongness either? What if that is space and you can create anything from there, and what if you choose to be aware of your automatic response to indulge on whatever it is that you think will fill and start to ask: Hmm, what is this? Does my body require and desire copulation right now? Am I filling a whole ( yeah, that was on purpose) and if it isn’t space what about asking: Who does this belong to? Is your body picking up the horniness of tons of people and is ready to fulfill whatever indulges them? It’s kind of like overeating, who are you eating for? My question to myself and anyone else who “just can’t get enough” is: Who are you having sex for? Is it you, or someone else? Just something to ask and perceive what is true for you. If you are having fun acting out everyone else’s desires go for it, what if that isn’t a wrongness?
Some of the other things I was pondering on was, if we have this capacity to perceive others thoughts feelings and emotions is is possible that we have a desire to contribute to the planet, I know I do. What if part of what we, the sexual deviants of the world are playing with is the energy and desire to contribute to change on the planet, and what if you have a knowing that your body has the capacity to heal other bodies, what if you don’t have to act on it every time? This is where awareness is really handy. What if, when you ask the question, Who does this belong to? And you get that you are acting out on someone, or something else’s behalf you can also choose to be aware of what other ways you can contribute with your sexualness, your sexiness…the you, you truly be?
Is it fun? If you are having fun and the people you are engaging in these activities with are also having fun, is it wrong? Well, there are spiritual, social, and religious groups who would say, yes absolutely, it is vile and wrong. If you are coming from the point of view that we are not our bodies, which I espouse to, yet we have these bodies, some argue that these bodies are to be treated as temples, to not use them for sex, rather to use them for the service of God, the Universe, Krishna, Jesus, etc. Sex is solely for copulation. So, if that is true for you, choose it, if it is not, what else is possible? I like to ask: what contribution can me and my body to the planet? Sometimes I literally ooze sexualness and I swear the plants in my house grow more and the feral cats wounds heal, and so I would choose to not ooze this for what? If we are going to have anything oozing, how about choosing oozing the beauty, and greatness you truly be?
Sex for copulation only, was that invented and sold by a man with erectile dysfunction, and desired to not have to perform? Hmm, just curious