Subtle Gaslighting in Relationships ~ Bert & Nelly

Subtle Gaslighting in Relationships ~ Bert & Nelly

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April 2, 2018 by *Creating Magical Relationships with Bert & Nelly

Creating Magical Relationships Radio Show

Gaslighting is an subtle form of manipulation and control, which derives its name from a 1938 play, Gas Light, and a film adaptation starring Ingrid Bergman. The victims of gaslighting are misled and forced to doubt what they know to be true, even about themselves. Victims end up doubting their memory, perception, and sanity. Over time, the gaslighter’s manipulations grow more complex and potent, making them difficult for the victim to avoid. Gaslighting can occur in personal or professional relationships, and gaslighters target their victims where it hurts: their sense of identity and self-worth. Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. Even if a person is practicing gaslighting behavior without being consciously aware of it, they may get a “payoff” when their victim becomes more dependent on them. And then the cycle continues. The gaslighter also gets a “boost” when there are no checks and balances in place—no one holding them accountable for their behavior. The more you are aware of these techniques, the quicker you can identify them and avoid falling into the gaslighter’s trap.

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