Choice, Answers, Punishment – What Are You Really Looking For?

Spiritual Adventures Radio Show

If you are tapping into collective energy these days you will quickly figure that one of the dominant topics of the collective is “choice” and “how to choose (correctly)”. No wonder that last Wednesday’s radio shows were either about choice or the implications based on prior choices. I was simply amazed how beautifully the shows contributed to each other. Also these shows invited me to a journey through my life and with this article I pass on the invitation. But before we start, let me ask you my first question:

Are you living in an “either or reality”? No worries if your answer is yes. You are in good comfort. Most people still live there and also I spent decades in this part of reality. In fact, we are raised in an “either or reality” – despite our better knowledge! When we were kids we innately knew that we could have everything. Yes, everything! But then we were told that we had to choose and we usually got two possibilities only. Do you want chocolate or jellies? was an often heard question when I grew up. I don’t know about you but I always wanted both! And ice cream! Until I was called spoiled and that I couldn’t have it all. Another lesson I quickly learned was that our world was based on polarities: right and wrong, good and bad, black and white… Not only that: What I considered right, was probably wrong and vice versa. And as you might have experienced this as well here comes my second question:

How often are you choosing for somebody else? What I have learned at a very young age was that choice was not only limited to two possibilities. Also one choice was wrong and one was right. But right and wrong for whom? And why did it always change? What was right for me, wasn’t right for my parents. And my grandparents had a different point of view which sometimes was mine and other times not. Including friends into my choice didn’t lead to more clarity but even more confusion. Again, what was right for them, often didn’t resonate with me. Before I knew it I started twisting many of my choices to other people’s liking. Just to find out I still was wrong again! Can you perceive how much judgment is involved? Do such scenarios create more? No! Or as Suzanne Stauffer & Megan Sillito stated so beautifully during their show “Love, Life and All Things Weird “: “As long as you’re sitting in judgment, you’re not creating!” And isn’t creating something new the reason why we came here? Wait a second, before you scream a whole-hearted YES, I have another question for you:

How often do you choose knowing the answer? The moment I realized that I was wrong no matter what I started choosing for myself. Was I called selfish? Yes! Ungrateful for leaving situations behind that no longer worked for me? Yes. Still I chose for me and more and more outside the “either or reality”. I was thrilled about all those possibilities -and then felt overwhelmed. Having grown up in a world of opposites based on polarities it was inevitable it left its marks. Also I was always taught that I have to have the answer for everything. Otherwise I was called “stupid” and that happened very often. First and foremost by close family members. So I started choosing for me just to realize that I mostly did choose based on my knowledge of the outcome. Being a psychic with a strong sense which is commonly known as “clear knowing” (also called “claircognizance”) it was easy for me to “know” what the most likely outcome was. And guess what, I got it. Oh, what a surprise! Not! So there must be at least one reason I did that. And that leads me to the next question:

How often do you choose to avoid punishment? You might wonder about this question but I invite you to play with it. It might be a game changer! To better understand let us quickly go back my childhood days. If the “either or restrictions” were only limited to my choice of sweets, fine, but limited choice occurred in every area of my life. And as I preferred to be the “good girl” trying to avoid physical punishment my life wasn’t about “either or” anymore but trying to guess what was the one correct choice. And let me tell you this – many of my guesses were wrong. Yet, the stubborn me continued trying to find out. Over time I acquired a better understanding of what is “socially acceptable” but truth is, at the same time I developed a whole system of “self-punishment”. I was denying myself in every way possible until I finally asked myself a question:

Is now the time to choose bold? It wasn’t until 15 months ago that I realized that I had this system of self-punishment (often called self-sabotage) in place. And it came with a big “booom” – Seemingly out of the blue I got a panic attack right in Berlin Central Station. Not the best place and in fact, the very best place as it made me question what the heck was going on in my life. The word “self sabotage” popped into my head and I suddenly realized that self sabotage (or self punishment) was a dominant factor for my choices. I decided to choose different. And, as I like to be over top at times, I decided to choose bold from that moment on. At this point my life was on the brink of falling apart. And my first bold choice was to simply let it happen! And then to create my life anew. I did some bold choices which other people might consider “stupid” or “completely insane” but for me every choice was right at that time. Also they always led to something better and definitely to way more awareness than ever before. Was it always easy? No, not at all. Was it uncomfortable? Yes, choice, especially bold choice, can be very uncomfortable. However, how I understand life to this point, bold choice is what really makes the difference.

What are you really looking for? So what is it you are really looking for in life? In your creation? Is it to express your true voice? Your true being? Did you come here to be the difference? To be the change? Chances are if you read this you came here for exactly that. Despite the trouble you might get into, despite all discomfort. Despite sticking out in the crowd. Chances are that you not only know that there is a way out of the old paradigm of polarity but that you are one of those showing others their way by your choice to follow your own. I salute you because this is choosing bold. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing so or maybe just considering it. This too, makes a difference!

Nicole Lellek